nama oṁ viṣṇu-pādāya kṛṣṇa-preṣṭhāya bhū-tale
śrīmate bhaktivedānta-svāmin iti nāmine
namas te sārasvate deve gaura-vāṇī-pracāriṇe
nirviśeṣa-śūnyavādi-pāścātya-deśa-tāriṇe
Reciprocation
On 13 December 1973, at the Los Angeles temple, on Srila Bhaktisiddhānta’s disappearance
day, you ended your lecture by saying that you were “horrified” by dreaming several times that
Bhaktisiddhānta Sarasvatī Mahārāja was calling you to take sannyāsa. At that time, all of the devo-
tees present in the temple room saw tears streaming from your eyes as your voice choked to gravel
and you said, “You are helping me.” Then there was a short pause. You were displaying some tran-
scendental emotions as these tears of gratitude seemed to take over. The devotees there had never
heard or seen anything quite like this – ever. Previously, you had exhibited intense anger when
speaking with impersonalists sometimes masquerading as devotional individuals. However, these
emotional displays of gratitude were witnessed only by a privileged few. Your moods seemed to
alternate between kindness and friendliness to stern disagreement, depending on who you were
speaking with – the age, gender, nationality, and philosophical conviction of the person before
you.
One could say that time, place, and circumstance/audience were the determining factors of the
mood you adopted on specific occasions.
In the book The Nectar of Devotion Kṛṣṇa talks about his indebtedness to Draupadī for calling
out to him, “He Govinda.” This indirectly indicates that Krsna is obliged to appreciate such sur-
render and points out the psychological need for all people to feel valued. Śrīla Prabhupāda went
so far as to indicate that ISKCON leaders should discuss their differences threadbare, until they
would reach a deeper understanding. He told us that the movement’s leaders should discuss the
principle of acintya-bhedābheda-tattva (inconceivable simultaneous oneness and difference) each
year in Māyāpur. Mutual appreciation was an essential keynote of this instruction.
Without this reciprocation, life can be humdrum and outright depressing. Some have even left
the frontline preaching of ISKCON, or ISKCON entirely, because they were either undervalued
or not valued at all.
A person who is mindful of his friend’s beneficial actions is grateful. In the Mahābhārata, Kṛṣṇa
says, “When I was away from Draupadī, she cried with the words, ‘he Govinda!’ This call for Me
has put Me in her debt, and that indebtedness is gradually increasing in My heart.”
Although you were often stern, uncompromising, and seemingly cruel and rigid, your kindness
and indebtedness were always there – as is the nature of any true sādhu. So, you were in a sense
the master of reciprocation.
Your servant,
Mukunda Goswami
